Shhhhh…. listen…..

We all hit the wall sometimes, fall in the mud, reach the end of our tether, burst into tears, kick the cat, throw a wobbly, have a melt-down. Sometimes we just sit in a heap, in the corner, and wonder where the next lump of energy might come from. Tonight I was a bit tired (but not exhausted), a bit weepy (but not sad), a little vulnerable (but not broken).  I was tepid and uninspired and Monday’s deadline was a threat, looking to the next week was daunting, and I didn’t quite know what to do with myself.  A bit so-whatish and a tad lonely probably. Nothing tragic or dramatic so there’s no need to send messages of comfort and solidarity, you compulsive comforters, I’m fine. Read on.

I’m like that sometimes. A twit. And then I come to my senses  because, dammit- Janet, there are  better thoughts to be had, and deeper breaths to be taken, and life in the old dog yet. Just got to shake it off.

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So, tonight (ditching a brief plan to hie me to a nunnery) I settled down to meditate on God’s goodness. Like the book says ‘think of good things’. So I did. This is not really a study. It’s a sort of  meander.

And actually, acshewally, it turned into a great evening. Really lovely. My feet are cold, and my left leg has gone numb again, and it’s suddenly (you know what I mean) past midnight. The world has settled back on its axis and it seems that I am not, after all, the feeblest creature in all of God’s good creation. Amazing! Life goes on and next week might be OK after all.

“Look to the Lord and his strength;
    seek his face always.” 1 Chronicles 16:11

His strength? Oh. OK. Not my weakness? Ahh. That’s where I was going wrong (again).

“Do you not know?
    Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
    the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
    and his understanding no one can fathom.’   Isaiah 40:28 

I love Isaiah. One day I will shake him by the hand. He was told what to write and he did it. He did it so well. I bet he got really tired sometimes, but he carried on. I wonder if he ever hit the wall?

‘In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning.  Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made.  In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind.  The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.’ John 1

“He spreads out the northern skies over empty space;
    he suspends the earth over nothing.” Job 26:7

What simple poetry! Isn’t it?”  Don’t you think? Imagine that… he spreads out the northern skies over space. ‘Imagine’ as in ‘form an image of’.

He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. Colossians 1:17

I searched for that for ages – I was sure it was in Peter. But that’s when a concordance comes in handy.

“The heavens are telling of the glory of God; And their expanse is declaring the work of His hands.” Psalm 19:1

And listen to this next … just listen. Who was Amos? It’s too late to find out now but I shall chase him up tomorrow.

“He who made the Pleiades and Orion,
    who turns midnight into dawn
    and darkens day into night,
who calls for the waters of the sea
    and pours them out over the face of the land –
    the Lord is his name.” Amos 5:8

And I know I’ve already gone on about this one already this week, and in this very blog, but here we go again:

“He spreads out the northern skies over empty space;
he suspends the earth over nothing.
He wraps up the waters in his clouds,
yet the clouds do not burst under their weight.
He covers the face of the full moon,
spreading his clouds over it.
He marks out the horizon on the face of the waters
for a boundary between light and darkness.
The pillars of the heavens quake,
aghast at his rebuke.
By his power he churned up the sea;
By his breath the skies became fair;
his hand pierced the gliding serpent.” 
Job 26:7-13

And that leads so BEAUTIFULLY into the verse that’s meant so much to me this last few days, and has kept me wondering, awe struck and wobbly knee’d.  Whatever I pray about, or think about, or wonder at, I find myself ending with this thought, this exciting and intriguing observation;

And these are but the outer fringe of his works;
    how faint the whisper we hear of him!
    Who then can understand the thunder of his power?’   Job 26:14

How faint the whisper we hear of Him? That whisper is in the Bible, in prayer and in His goodness. It’s a whisper that reaches even an earth-bound woman in a small house in Wales,  a whisper that’s heard over and over again, in every corner of the world, for all of history.  A whisper that roars in the ocean,  sings in the wind, and is heard in the human heart.

“How faint the whisper we hear of Him” But sometimes… just sometimes…. if we sit very still, and wait, and ready ourselves….. loving Him, knowing Him, seeking Him….  we feel His breath. Our omnipresent God.

 

 

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