I’ve gone(temporarily) deaf. It’s nothing dramatic- the audiologist recommend ear drops before my hearing aids arrive and it seemed like a good idea. Apparently some people go deaf after using these drops. It can last a day or two or even two weeks. The first couple of days were weird, my little dumplings – the deafness was total. I’d slam the car door and hear absolutely nothing, start the car and not hear the engine, chew something crunchy and hear nothing (how to make a packet of crisps taste like a salty marshmallow). I discovered not only that sensations are complicated but that deafness can be dangerous: I  stepped in front of a car and walked down a country lane oblivious that the Poppit Rocket (a bus) was patiently shadowing me, waiting to pass. And I met a stranger on the beach who told me “Your pocket is beeping” (it was a daily alarm on my phone).

But the great thing about being suddenly and temporarily deaf is that I gave everyone a good laugh. Even me. As I explained what had happened to fellow dog walkers every single damn one of them started to grin, and then laugh, and finally walk away shaking their heads, holding onto each other in wild merriment. And the town is suddenly full of mime artists, ho ho ho. Quite a few have said “It could only happen to you!”, which is not true because, if you google it, you’ll find it’s happened to loads of people.

I think this should-be-distressing side effect is fading, after four days, and sounds are returning. I could hear people talking this morning (as if from miles away) and even managed to follow a sermon (dimly as through a pillow). Hurrah.

This afternoon friends  (using the term very loosely) called in with something to help me…. word cards…..


And there were other cards, featuring asterisks, suggestions and threats that aren’t suitable for a public blog.

I love my friends. May the fleas of a thousand camels infest their armpits.

I really do love my friends. Every time I think of moving, they remind me how lovely they are and how I will miss them.

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